Fucking Perfect Eggnog (Egg nog)

The best beverage that exists on this planet. And you can bet your sweet ass this is irresistible nog. The closest replication to store-bought I've made. Normally it's only available during the holidays, but with this recipe you can make it any time of year! If you want to experiment with flavors I also recommend adding a cinnamon stick and some lemon peel while heating the cream mixture.

Scroll to the bottom for ingredients for a smaller batch of eggnog, if desired (8 yolks or 4 yolks).

The recipe is here, and pictures of the process are below:

Ingredients:

Egg yolk mixture:

• 1 cup white sugar

• 12 egg yolks

Sauce Pan:

• 3 cups milk (2% milkfat)

• 3 cups heavy whipping cream (33 or 35%)

• 1/2 cup + 1 Tbsp. light or golden corn syrup (or less/more)

• 1 4-inch cinnamon stick

• Optional: Fresh lemon peel/skin/rind (about 3/4 inch by 3 1/2 inches, remove the white layer)

Additions:

• 1 tsp. finely ground nutmeg

• A little less than 1/2 tsp. ground allspice

• 2 tsp. vanilla extract

• 2 tsp. rum extract (optional, can substitute for real rum)

Note: you can use all table or single cream (18% milkfat) instead of the heavy whipping cream and milk.

Directions:

1. In a saucepan start heating up the corn syrup, milk, cream, lemon peel (optional), and cinnamon stick (optional) on low-medium heat. Mix regularly. When it's ready it should feel hot when you dip your finger in.

2. While you're waiting for the cream mixture to heat through, in a wide bowl whisk the sugar and egg yolks together until thick and pale yellow (see gif below) (about 3-4 minutes by hand).

3. To resist movement, place the egg yolk bowl on a wet kitchen towel or potholder. Then gradually add the cream mixture while whisking constantly so you don’t scramble the eggs. This is called tempering the egg yolks.

4. Pour everything back into the saucepan and heat until it reaches 160°F, whisking constantly. Then immediately pour the mixture through a strainer and into a large bowl. Discard the cinnamon stick and lemon peel, if using.

5. Stir the nutmeg and all spice into it. Whisk for 1-2 minutes to cool slightly before whisking in the rum and vanilla extracts. Set aside.

6. Refrigerate at least 12 hours. It tastes better the next day! Taste and adjust spices, sweetness, and extracts if necessary.

7. Always stir before serving because the spices settle on the bottom.

8. Makes about ½ gallon.

Will update pictures asap...

The egg yolk mixture texture after whisking until pale yellow and thick. Next we add the cream mixture once it's ready!

Medium Batch (8 yolks):

Egg yolk mixture:

• 2/3 cup white sugar

• 8 egg yolks

Sauce Pan:

• 2 cups milk (2%)

• 2 cups heavy whipping cream (33%)

• 6 Tbsp. corn syrup (light or golden both work)

• 1 3-inch cinnamon stick

• Optional: Fresh lemon peel/skin/rind (about 3/4 inch by 2 1/2 inches, remove the white layer)

Additions:

• 3/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

• 1/4 tsp. ground allspice

• 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract (possibly less if you want it more rum flavored)

• 1 1/2 tsp. rum extract (optional, can substitute for real rum)

Small batch (4 yolks):

Egg yolk mixture:

• 1/3 cup white sugar

• 4 egg yolks

Sauce Pan:

• 1 cup milk (2%)

• 1 cup heavy whipping cream (33%)

• 3 Tbsp. corn syrup (light or golden both work)

• 1 4-inch cinnamon stick

• Optional: Fresh lemon peel/skin/rind (about 3/4 inch by 1 1/2 inches, remove the white layer)

Additions:

• 1/4 + 1/8 tsp. ground nutmeg

• 1/8 tsp. ground allspice

• 3/4 tsp. vanilla extract (possibly less if you want it more rum flavored)

• 3/4 tsp. rum extract (optional, can substitute for real rum)